How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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