The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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