when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize