So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
