in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
