i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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