At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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