And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You ate ashes out of my bong
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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