Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
