Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
