Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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