i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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