conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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