I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
