I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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