Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
