you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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