That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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