Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
