Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Can Purell be used as lube?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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