Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
