What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
