Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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