I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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