did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
