you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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