Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
