Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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