Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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