i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize