is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Quick, to the slutcave!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
