I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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