my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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