Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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