Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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