Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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