Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
YAS. BRING CRAB.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize