farters have to be the big spoon...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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