chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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