I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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