Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
