There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
