Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
