Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
