I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
false alarm, still single
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
