sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
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I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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