you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
