I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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