I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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