your room smells of hookers.
And success
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
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Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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