his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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