tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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