lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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