i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He did a backflip because drugs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
