Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
