Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Im part way to drunk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
