M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
