so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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