i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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