I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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