Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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