I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
