Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
