420 ftw
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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