I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
