Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I need a beard to bite.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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